make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
