but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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