I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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