i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
