If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i think i just lost a toe
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
