One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
