8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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