never play flip cup with pint glasses
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize