Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
