Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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