Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
