I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Farmville is her only friend.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
