Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
