Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
