i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize