told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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