Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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