well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
