can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
