My nipple is on Facebook.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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