You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
