God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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