Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
