I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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