Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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