I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
