I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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