What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize