Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
