i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
