I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
