Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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