brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You need a sexual gate keeper
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
