Got a toothbrush?
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
