he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize