I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize