i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
