I wish I only lived at night.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
