I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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