That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
