and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
