its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize