Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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