It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
