soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
