Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
