He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
