weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
