I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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