No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize