the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
