do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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