Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
