I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
