i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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