But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
