All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
