Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
