i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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