I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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