so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
