yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
