just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
