I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
